Gay Men’s Couple Counseling: Are You Frustrated By Aspects of Your Relationship?
I admit; I’m a romantic. I love to work with gay couples, and help them enhance and enjoy the love they share.
But I know that is sometimes elusive.
Maybe you are worried because you aren’t as happy in your relationship as you would like to be.
Maybe you are bored, scared, unsure, worried, or annoyed. Maybe you’re confused on whether “you” are the problem, or “he” is. Or maybe the problem is, you don’t know where or even what the problem is.
You could be worried about money and making a home domestically with the chores and stress of everyday life.
You could be frustrated that your sex life is not what you know you really want it to be.
Maybe you love your partner, but you’re not that sexually satisfied with him.
Maybe there is a “third” involved — not a person, but an addiction like alcohol or a party drug.
Or maybe just really bad habits in your partner.
Maybe there is someone else in your life who distracts you from the partner you “should” be paying attention to.
Maybe it’s not that dramatic, but you know that you and your partner could be happier, “if only” you two were functioning better in one or more areas of your life together — communication, money, “balance”, sex, chores, trust, jealousy, time, the in-laws, the pets, the friends, the house.
How does couples counseling with Ken Howard, LCSW help with this? Here’s how:
While I specialize in my training, research, and experience helping gay male couples, I’ve also helped lesbian and straight couples achieve a more satisfying relationship by learning how to “really” communicate with each other, reducing the number or intensity of fights, having more or better sex, negotiating the details of spicing up a monogamous relationship or designing how it might work to have a satisfying and yet still “safe” open relationship, or dealing with other types of stress that impact a relationship. Over all my years in practice, I’ve helped hundreds of couples stay together, work things out, and be happier. Occasionally, I’ve had to help them break up amicably, but even then, the partners are still happier. It all sort of depends on the circumstances of the work that we do.
Much of the work I do with couples is to help improve what I call the “skills of relationship”, which includes commitment, communication, and compromise, striving to improve “regard” for your partner and mutual respect. I help you both improve the ability to generate options to avoid stalemates and reach compromises. By working with so many couples over the years, I’ve developed some observations about what these successful, happy couples in satisfying relationships have in common. Some of these findings might surprise you; I hope they inspire you.
We work together to see what needs to be done to make the burdens that you feel become lighter. We use exercises to make you think and feel in new ways that shed light on your options.
I’ve had extensive training in the theory and practice of couples counseling, for all kinds of couples.
Plus, I’ve been in a happy and satisfying relationship for over 7 years, so I have some personal experience on what makes a happy gay relationship, at least for us. And I have the collective of experience of working with hundreds of couples in my practice over 17 years, and more examples from friends and colleagues. Those are all resources that can be put to work to help YOUR relationship improve, even if you think your challenges are “unique”.
If you would like an appointment for couples counseling, talk to your partner about how he would feel if you called me to make an appointment. Ask him what his schedule would be like, the times he would be available to come with you, and compare it to yours. Talk about how you might handle the fee — do you split it equally, or some other arrangement? Then email me at ken@gaytherapyla.com, or call me at 310-726-4357, and let’s see how soon we can make this happen. The sooner the better, probably.
Like I said, I’m a romantic. I want to see you happy. It takes work, but it’s possible.
Let’s work together to see if your relationship can move to the next level.